My brother and I have always had something of a strained relationship. He is four years older than me which means he was always way ahead of me in everything – when I entered high school he graduated, when I went to college he had finished his term in the Navy and was well into the work force. Beyond the age difference we've never had much in common. We're just two different people him and me. Sometimes I am amazed that two such amazingly different personalities came out of the same gene pool, yet here we are.

One thing we do share is a love of movies. Whenever we get together (which is an all too rare thing) we always find common ground in the movies that we've seen. Music is something we also share but for whatever reasons our conversations rarely turn in that direction. Sure, once in awhile we'll talk about concerts that are coming to town and we often banter about whatever happens to come on the radio. I remember one memorable moment when we both gave high praise to Queensryche after hearing “Jet City Woman.”

The last few times I have been in town my brother has brought up Tom Waits, and the conversation has always gone something like this:

My brother: “You ever heard of Tom Waits?”

Me: “Yeah, he’s a good song writer, but I just can’t get past that voice.”

Brother: “I know, it is like a sad clown gurgling rocks underwater. A friend of mine swears by him, but I just can’t take it. I’d rather listen to my ex-wife give me a detailed account of what's wrong with me.”

That's not verbatim mind you, but it is somewhere in the ball park. The conversation is weird not only because we're talking about music, and we usually don't, but that we're talking about a not that popular artist without provocation. It isn’t like Mr. Waits comes on the radio much in Oklahoma, or is played heavily on MTV to prompt our conversation. But there it is, us talking about him.

For my part I am not as adamant as my brother and I mean what I said. When I hear his songs I typically think the craft is really interesting, but his voice just tears out my lungs. I have several of his albums, and try as I might to get through them I usually stop short somewhere before the end.

I heard an interview with Waits on NPRs “Fresh Air” program where he admitted that he had groomed that voice. That he actually tried to make it sound like that. I was taken aback. I could understand being given a crap voice and making the most of it. I can deal with someone not being able to sing a note, but writing some songs and having a go at it anyway. I couldn't fathom why anyone would intentionally sound like that.

Then I listened to this show from Cold War Germany the year after I was born, and I got it. I get it now.